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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149923">The Life and Times of Remus Lupin</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrynnTheWren/pseuds/BrynnTheWren'>BrynnTheWren</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Remus Lupin, F/M, Kind of gay, M/M, actually really gay to be honest with you, kind of a long burn, remus lupin - Freeform, werewolves are people too, wolfstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:16:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrynnTheWren/pseuds/BrynnTheWren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lyall Lupin loathed werewolves. He viewed them as “soulless and evil, deserving nothing but death.” And, since Lyall could turn dirty laundry into a new pair of trainers (a little stinky, but that could be fixed), so did Remus Lupin.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Original Male Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>February 17, 1965 (4 y/o)</p>
<p>Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) - David Bowie</p>
<p>     Lyall Lupin loathed werewolves. He viewed them as “soulless and evil, deserving nothing but death.” And, since Lyall could turn dirty laundry into a new pair of trainers (a little stinky, but that could be fixed), so did Remus Lupin. </p>
<p>     All Remus knew about his father’s job was that he made sure that the scary monsters couldn’t ever hurt anyone. That’s what Hope told her frightened child when Lyall came home from the Ministry frustrated and angry. Because a five year-old boy didn’t need to know that his father was bound to make enemies, dangerous enemies, in his line of work. He didn’t need to know that every night, his mother double locked the doors and windows, and kept silver on her person constantly. </p>
<p>     It was a cold night, and an intimidating one. Both of his parents were asleep in the next room, but Remus couldn’t seem to rest. There was something outside, he knew it. The night was bright, a full moon was out illuminating everything outside and making their shadows stand out all the more, and every now and then a dark figure would walk across his window. Remus watched it carefully (or as carefully as a boy of five could) for a few minutes, but when nothing seemed to happen he dozed off sleep. </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>A crash in the living room, and a scream from his mother. Shouting, bright lights, and a tall creature busted his window and stalked into his room. Remus couldn’t move; he tried to scream but it only came out as soft tears. An earth-shattering howl sounded from the shadow behind him, and Remus felt a sharp pain in his side. Warm crimson liquid rolled down his blue pyjamas as the boy slowly lost consciousness and finally seemed to lay lifeless on the ground.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. •First Year•</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Still don't know what I was waitin' for<br/>And my time was runnin' wild<br/>A million dead end streets and<br/>Every time I thought I'd got it made<br/>It seemed the taste was not so sweet<br/>So I turned myself to face me<br/>But I've never caught a glimpse<br/>How the others must see the faker<br/>I'm much too fast to take that test</p><p>Changes <br/>David Bowie</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus Lupin was not an optimistic person. He had given up on being one years ago. His mother held that position, while his father was the pessimist. Remus, though, Remus was a realist.</p><p>The moment Dumbledore had arrived at his flat, he knew exactly how things would go. The man would find a way into his house, despite his parents refusal, and give them the letter to the school. </p><p>Dumbledore would then assure his parents that yes, we have taken the necessary precautions to adhere to his lycanthropy, and then Remus' mother would sniff because she hated the word 'lycanthropy' and then on the first of September, Remus would board the train and attempt to have a normal school year. But then again, that was impossible, because he knew exactly how his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would go, too.  </p><p>He would go there, and try not to stand out. He would be sorted into Ravenclaw, be dubbed "the quiet one", probably pick up a few other choice nicknames along the way, and somewhere in between first year and seventh year would be a person who would discover his... condition, and then he would be forced into the Werewolf Registry and out of the school. That was just a walk in the park, really, considering that it could go much worse. </p><p>Remus wouldn't let himself be excited, though he really wanted to be. He wouldn't let himself look forward to the school, because you shouldn't look forward to one's self-<br/>
destruction.</p><p>-</p><p>The train station was desperately crowded with muggles, which Remus was perfectly fine with, except for the utter lack of magical energy left his insides feeling hollow in all the wrong ways. He thought that maybe, if he pretended to get lost in the station, that he would miss the train. But no, his mother knew what he was thinking and firmly grabbed his arm. </p><p>"You'll love it, I swear," Hope assured. "Promise me you'll make friends, and make good grades."</p><p>Remus nodded, though he had no intent to make any friends. Finally, they reached platform 9, and Remus rushed into the wall beside of it like his father had told him to do so many times.</p><p>A rush of pure magic swept over him and then all the hollowness in him was instantly brimming with magical energy. The station was larger than the one previous, and slightly less crowded.</p><p> Remus wondered at the glory of the machine  in front of him. It's size made him feel minuscule, and it's red and black exterior stood out from the golden station around it. </p><p>The train blew its whistle, letting potential passengers know of its very soon happening departure. Remus rushed on, found the first empty compartment he could, and sat there. He was nervous, and angry, and utterly exhausted. The train blew its final whistle. </p><p>This was going to be a long year. </p><p>- </p><p>When Remus woke up he found himself surrounded by other boys. They were hunched over the table in the centre of the compartment and completely invested in a game of gobstones. He waited until one of the boys, a wiry, unruly-haired boy seemed to be at a standstill before making his presence known. </p><p>"I would go for the red one if I were you," Remus advised. He was surprised when they turned towards him, and even more surprised that he was surprised. His mum and dad... they barely looked him in the eye anymore when he spoke. A blush spread across his cheeks as they stared. It was only for a moment before the wiry one replied. </p><p>"You think so? I was thinking either that one or the yellow." The boy seemed to be made of kind smiles and confidence, and Remus almost forgot all his worries in that moment. </p><p>"Yeah. The yellow will probably turn back and spray you. Red is safer if you don't fancy being pissed on." Remus recalled warm nights by the fire when he and his father would play this game till sun up. His mother would smile softly like she does and shake her head, laughing silently at her two boys she holds so dearly. </p><p>He was awoken from his daydream by the rattling of the compartment and the wiry boy's shouts of triumph. He held out his hand expectantly as he spoke.</p><p>"You owe me a galleon, Petey-boy!"</p><p>The other boy, who Remus assumed to be Petey-boy, watched him warily. There was amusement in his eyes, but also a hint of sourness. Remus thought that was fair; he didn't exactly do him any favours with the game. </p><p>The staring competition was interrupted by their compartment door opening abruptly. A girl stood in its place, fiery-haired and forest eyed. She seemed kind, Remus thought, but fierce. </p><p>"Have any of you three seen a toad nearby? An older girl lost hers earlier." </p><p>Remus shook his head; he'd been asleep until just now. Peter did the same, but the dark-haired boy seemed to infatuated with the girl in front of him to really notice what she was asking. </p><p>"James," Peter hissed. Remus nodded. That must be his name then. "She asked you a question."</p><p>The girl stood expectantly at the door, eating for his reply. She stormed off with a huff after a few moments, leaving Peter and Remus staring at James in amusement. His dreamlike countenance had not yet left him; his eyes had not left the place where the fiery ginger once stood. </p><p>"I'm gonna marry that girl one day," James said lazily. "Just you watch," </p><p>Peter laughed at his statement and turned the conversation to quidditch, and how unfair it was the first years couldn't play. James modded vigorously and claimed that he was going to show up at tryouts anyway, and if he made the team then could the school really do anything? It was too important for Gryffindor to simply look over quidditch prodigies, and he claimed himself to be.</p><p>Remus mourned the  nearing loss of the kinship he had found on the train. James seemed so sure of his place in Gryffindor, and Peter seemed quieter but Remus was sure he would make it in, too. The two were so excited about their next few years at the school and Remus wasn't even sure he would make it through the first. But as the train approached the castle and they mentioned changing into their robes his panic only increased. </p><p>"I'm, um, going to the restroom. They have one on the train, right?" He has his robe in hand as he crawled over Peter to reach the door. James shot a skeptical glance to Peter at his nervousness. </p><p>"Yeah, they're a few compartments down. You alright?" </p><p>"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Remus replied hurriedly. He was sure that he was raising suspicions with his behaviour, they were all guys, right? But this was necessary if he planned to have his friends for much longer. "I just... I'll be back in a bit." </p><p>-</p><p>James' definition of 'a few' did not match up with Remus', as he soon found out. With much frustration and turning around, though, he finally found  the small, two stall restroom at the end of the hall. He'd been praying to Merlin that it would be empty being this close to the castle, but was disappointed. </p><p>Instead he found a boy, ivory skinned and mercury eyed staring back at him from the opposite wall. Remus stared at the uniform in the other boy's hands; it seemed they had the same idea. Remus was suddenly terribly self-conscious of his scarred skin as he took in the boy. With James and Peter it had been easier, they'd both had imperfections of their own, James with terrible eyesight judging by the thickness of his lenses, and Peter had two protruding front teeth pointing out of his mouth, but Remus couldn't find a single flaw within this boy. </p><p>"Hello," the dark haired boy said at last. He sounded nervous, and Remus thought that maybe his flaws weren't outward. </p><p>"Hi," Remus replied. "I was just going to..."</p><p>"As was I," the boy said, eyeing Remus' robes. Merlin, he sounded terribly posh. Remus wasn't sure if he could stand another word of it. "Compartment of girls?"</p><p>"No," Remus said simply, hoping that the other wouldn't speculate. </p><p>"Oh," </p><p>They changed quickly in their own stalls, and shared a nod as they both left the bathroom together. It became desperately awkward as they headed the same direction and Remus couldn't help but let out a giggle. The other boy seemed to take offence at the laugh, though and stopped in his tracks. </p><p>"What's so funny?" He sneered. </p><p>"Well, I can't say I was really looking forward to walking you back to your compartment." Remus said with a nervous smiles. He too was now stopped and looking back at the dark haired boy. He seemed to crack a smile at last, and the tension in Remus' shoulders dissolved the tiniest bit. Their laughter caught the attention of an older girl marching up behind the other boy with a ferocity Remus didn't care to witness again. </p><p>They looked remarkably similar, the older girl and this boy he had found. Remus wondered if they might be siblings. But there was a kindness Remus found in the boy's speech that was not in the girl's.</p><p>"There you are, Sirius. Cissy's been fretting all over your pretty little head, and you know fretting causes wrinkles." Even their sneering was similar, Remus noted. " Who's your little friend."</p><p>"I, uh-" The boy, apparently named Sirius, stammered. </p><p>"Don't stutter, Sirius, it's humiliating." She taunted. Her eyes had not left yet Remus' as she seemed to take him in. It was degrading, her looks. Remus had a newfound bravery as he fought against them. </p><p>"Remus," he said definitely. "My name's Remus," He sounded odd compared to the other two's proper speech. </p><p>A wicked smile spread across her face as she turned back to Sirius. Her curly hair bounced as she moved, and Remus wondered how sharp her nails really were. </p><p>"Sirius, darling, as you will soon learn, there are certain types of people you are to associate yourself with at Hogwarts. Remus, here, is not that type of person," her words wes sickly sweet, motherly but venomous. Remus' cheeks heated at her words. This was worse than her pits that she called eyes. "Sorry to waste you time," she turned to Remus again. </p><p>She seemed to be cueing for him to leave, and his bravery had not lasted long enough to defy her again. He waved to Sirius, who refused to look up from the floor, and was off to his compartment, back to the temporary safety of James and Peter. He played along with their conversations, but couldn't  shake the haggling feeling that something was Not Right with the older girl, and the slight worry in his heart for Sirius. </p><p>"-and we realised that throughout this entire train ride we hadn't learned you name," James exclaimed, as if it were the most astounding thing in the world. </p><p>"Remus," he repeated, devoid of courage this time. "My name's Remus."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The three left the train in a hurry and were split up when they were on the boats. Remus counted himself lucky that at least one familiar face was with him on the dark waters. He wondered if she remembered him, the ginger. He thought of James’ reaction to the girl and suddenly hoped that she didn’t. </p>
<p>“You’re the guy from the train,” She said, crushing his hopes. “You’re friends with the dopey glasses boy. God, you would think he’d never seen a girl before.”</p>
<p>“Who is it?” and unfamiliar voice spoke. Remus turned to the owner of it and was met with unwelcoming black eyes and shoulder length hair the same shade. </p>
<p>“Sev, you know,” the ginger laughed. “The one I was telling you about. Unruly hair and thick glasses.”</p>
<p>“Not him, Lily,” The Boy Named Sev motioned towards Remus, and he was certain he would have to introduce himself for the third time that night. It was three times more than he’d been intending to for the entire year. <br/>“Our guest.”</p>
<p>“I’m, um, Remus,” He said uncertainly. He knew how to react around people like Lily, but  apparently Remus seemed to lose all sorts of social mechanisms when confronted with pale, dark haired boys. </p>
<p>“Remus,” said Sev. It was taunting. Remus knew his name wasn’t the most common, but surely Sev could have some sort of sympathy. “Welcome aboard.”</p>
<p>“Oh, stop teasing him.” Lily swatted at the other boy’s shoulder. “It’s not as if you’re much better, Severus.”</p>
<p>Remus let out a bit of a giggle at the name. He earned a glare from Severus, and an endearing glance from Lily. It seemed that he was rocking boats, both physically and metaphorically.<br/>-</p>
<p>Remus recognised Sirius from the way he walked up to the sorting hat. It was very proper, his head held high and his arms never swinging too widely, but just as nervous. He sat on the seat they gave him, and allowed the hat, an old, dingy thing, to be placed in his head. </p>
<p>Seconds ticked by, and with each the entire room fell quiet. </p>
<p>Remus could feel the energies off every person. It was breathtaking, and exhilarating, but frightening all the same. He wondered what was so special about this boy for the hat to waver so long in its decision. </p>
<p>“Better be...” the hat began at last, “GRYFFINDOR!”</p>
<p>There was an uproar in the crowds that far exceeded the silence that had preceded it. It wasn’t loud, per say, but it was confounded, and confused. But there was no time to be confused, as Sirius stepped off of the  platform, looking entirely too sad and entirely too expectant of this. </p>
<p>Remus didn’t pay much attention to the sorting until they called his name. He moved up towards the hat, and wondered at how much his mother would tut over the state of it. The woman calling names placed it on his head as once more the room fell silent again. Remus eyed the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, being certain he would soon find refuge within their halls. </p>
<p>And why is that, Remus Lupin? Sang a voice in his mind. It startled him, and a few of the people at the tables up front chuckled at him. It seemed rude not to reply. </p>
<p>‘I... I don’t think I’m courageous enough for Gryffindor.’ Remus thought. The words seemed to almost be aloud, but no one had reacted so that couldn’t be true. </p>
<p>Courage isn’t the absence of fear, Remus Lupin. It is doing the right thing even when fearful. And what do you see in Slytherin?</p>
<p>Remus wondered how long he and the hat had been at it. The world seemed to go in slow motion, now. He often forgot that he was going to a school of magic. </p>
<p>‘I just...’ He paused. Would the hat be offended at his mistrust of Slytherin? ‘Do what is best, I suppose...’</p>
<p>Wise decision, Remus Lupin. Better be...</p>
<p>“GRYFFINDOR!” the hat shouted out once more. He walked off the platform to be greeted by sturdy slaps to the back and several chants of his name. It was a feeling of pride, and joy, and if he dared let himself feel it, courage. </p>
<p>Peter and James rose to the stand soon after Remus left it. They both were welcomed to the Gryffindor table with the same enthusiasm as Remus had been, maybe James more than any of them. Remus downed the meal before him and spared a glance to Sirius, sulking at the end of the table. He didn’t seem surprised, only unbelieving, like a nightmare coming true. </p>
<p>A prefect led the first years to their dorms after the meal, and Remus lagged a bit behind all the rest, his joints in a constant battle against the stairs. Lily, who he’d recently found out was an Evans, stayed with him, whether out of pity or the fact that she was simply a good person he couldn’t tell.  They parted ways when they came to the final steps, he turning  left and she right. </p>
<p>He found his dorm and collapsed on the nearest empty bed, and almost shouted with surprise at his new roommates. A certain James sat on the first bed from the left. Peter on the one to James’ right. There was Remus’ bed, and to the right of it lay Sirius, also not believing his luck at the moment. </p>
<p>“Um,” Remus spoke eloquently. “G’night,”</p>
<p>-<br/>Remus lay in bed, much more tired than should be considered legal. The day’s events had strained him, being as close as it was to the full moon. By now he was hyper sensitive to his surroundings, and even more so to the  different silences in it. </p>
<p>James’ silence was electrifying. It held every hope and dream any of them had ever had, and it held the joy of knowing they would become realities. Remus felt that the room might burst into flame from the energy coming from James’ bed. It shook his bones and kept him awake. He wondered if James saw the world in red and gold, and that was why he wore his glasses, as if they were colour correctors. It was a silly thought, but it couldn’t be too far from the truth. </p>
<p>Peter’s silence was warm and cozy, like the common room fires. It was the long sigh of relieved after preforming a long run, and the laughter of Christmas morning when you receive exactly what you’d been wanting for the entire year. His silence held just as many hopes and dreams as James’. There were no fires, only the comforting heat that came from it. </p>
<p>Sirius’ silence did not match the others. It was crushed, and fearful, and cold. It was cracked porcelain and shattered souls. It held broken bones and all the wrong kinds of adrenaline. It wasn’t even completely silent, as Remus could hear a muffled whimper coming from the closed bed curtains.</p>
<p>James’ silence was interrupted, too, by him getting out of bed and tiptoeing over time Sirius’. There was a ruffling of curtains and sheets as the bed shifted to occupy two boys instead of one, and Remus wondered if Peter was awake. </p>
<p>“Hey. Sirius, right?” James whispered. There was a grunt before James spoke again. “Mum said you’d be in my year. You alright?” There was a weak laugh that turned into another muffled cry. Remus supposed they were hugging, now. He wondered how rude it would be to listen in on the conversation, but decided he was too far gone not to hear the end of it. </p>
<p>“Look,” James whispered again. “I know your family has a whole legacy thing going on. Seven-hundred years of the Noble House of Black or something like that, and I know they’re probably going to be a bit disappointed when they hear you’re in Gryffindor, but you’re still their son, and no silly tradition will get in the way of that, right?”</p>
<p>There was another weak laugh before Sirius spoke for the first time. </p>
<p>“You don’t know them, Potter. You don’t know-“</p>
<p>“You’re right. I don’t. But I do know family. And that’s what really matters, yeah?”</p>
<p>Another grunt sounded from Sirius that didn’t really believe what James said, but it was enough to make the scent of salty tears fade. The shuffling returned as what Remus could only assume was James leaving the bed. </p>
<p>“I’ll see you in the morning, Sirius. Goodn-“</p>
<p>“Wait! Could you... could you stay?” Sirius whispered. His voice seemed broken, now, like someone who hadn’t spoken in thousands of years and had only recently put an effort to it. Remus felt a pang in his chest at the sound of it.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” came James’ concerned reply. “Yeah, ‘course,”</p>
<p>When they all awoke the next morning, James and Sirius were brothers, and no one in the world but they and Remus could possibly understand why.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the beginning to a probably long fic?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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